Why so sad…

IMG_1606Good morning to you!

It’s a new week which means new beginnings. For me,  it’s a trigger. My girlfriend is leaving tomorrow to go back home for a week (we live in the PNW but we’re from California) and while this is a regular thing for most couples, my codependency rears its ugly head and turns it personal. In my head it goes like this

• it kills me she’s excited to leave me (in reality, she’s excited to see her family)

• I’m telling myself she doesn’t want me there (let’s be real we can’t afford to both be off work for a week)

•I don’t get why doesn’t she want to experience everything with me (there’s no way that’s physically possible).

I know that these things are ridiculous and I know what the realities are but my mind won’t stop. She even reassures me that what I’m thinking isn’t the truth (she knows about all these things).  I know that healthy relationships require space but it’s so hard to be ok with it even though I KNOW it’s normal… it’s so hard to let go of that control. I know what’s wrong and I know what needs to happen, I just don’t know how to get there. This week while she’s gone will be full of positive self care and rejuvenation! For me that looks like this:

• painting (it’s an amazing way to release energy and it’s super meditative)

• reading (it helps stop my mind from making things up. I just simply change my focus)

• be outdoors  (I live in WA it’s fucking beautiful!)

• chill with friends (I need to create a life outside of our relationship)

• RUBY! (My main gal! We will spend some serious QT this week!)

IMG_1609.JPG

Ruby aka Ruben aka Roo

Let’s hope her leaving goes smoothly! Wish me luck!

🖤

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