Good morning to you!
It’s a new week which means new beginnings. For me, it’s a trigger. My girlfriend is leaving tomorrow to go back home for a week (we live in the PNW but we’re from California) and while this is a regular thing for most couples, my codependency rears its ugly head and turns it personal. In my head it goes like this
• it kills me she’s excited to leave me (in reality, she’s excited to see her family)
• I’m telling myself she doesn’t want me there (let’s be real we can’t afford to both be off work for a week)
•I don’t get why doesn’t she want to experience everything with me (there’s no way that’s physically possible).
I know that these things are ridiculous and I know what the realities are but my mind won’t stop. She even reassures me that what I’m thinking isn’t the truth (she knows about all these things). I know that healthy relationships require space but it’s so hard to be ok with it even though I KNOW it’s normal… it’s so hard to let go of that control. I know what’s wrong and I know what needs to happen, I just don’t know how to get there. This week while she’s gone will be full of positive self care and rejuvenation! For me that looks like this:
• painting (it’s an amazing way to release energy and it’s super meditative)
• reading (it helps stop my mind from making things up. I just simply change my focus)
• be outdoors (I live in WA it’s fucking beautiful!)
• chill with friends (I need to create a life outside of our relationship)
• RUBY! (My main gal! We will spend some serious QT this week!)
Let’s hope her leaving goes smoothly! Wish me luck!